


Promises Are Meant to Be Kept (You Asshole)

by deviance



Category: Bleach
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Sexual Content, They Knew Each Other When Grimmjow Was Alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-09-26 00:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20380651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deviance/pseuds/deviance
Summary: Same blue hair. Same wild grin. Same fiery eyes.A hundred times the bloodlust, thousands of times the strength, and none of the recognition or memory.Grimmjow was gone.Ichigo's heart shattered, even if it was Rukia who took Grimmjow's fist to the chest.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: very mild mention of homophobia, some gang stuff mentioned, canon-typical violence, technically they're both underage right now with the sexual stuff but Grimmjow is a few years older so just a heads up on that (they don't have full blown sex)

At fourteen, Ichigo was no stranger to people starting fights just because of his hair. He thought it was stupid, but he wasn’t surprised anymore by the stupidty of others.

“That the best you got?” he spat, two muscleheads pinning his arms behind him while another gloated in front of him with three more surrounding them. Ichigo shook his head a bit to try and get the blood out of his eye from where he’d been hit in the head but it didn’t seem to be working. The man in front of him sneered.

“Snot-nosed brat,” he said, revealing a dagger from under his coat, and Ichigo’s eyes widened, instantly realizing this wasn’t his usual neighborhood troublemakers he’d run in to.

“Seems a little unfair, isn’t it?”

They all looked to a newcomer, a boy a bit older than Ichigo with a vivid shade of blue hair. Ichigo wondered if he got the same shit for that as he did.

“Piss off, blueberry,” the man holding the knife snapped, turning away from him. One of the men holding Ichigo’s arms shook and Ichigo glanced up to see real fear on his face.

“Uh. Boss,” he said, grip loosening. “That’s that kid that beat up Matoku last week.”

“The fuck you call me?” The blue haired boy snarled, fury on his face.

The ‘boss’s eyes widened but before he had a chance to even try to correct his mistake, the other boy was on him, punching his lights out before he even fully turned around.

“Boss!”

Ichigo snatched his arms out of the others’ hold, kicking one in the face before hooking his arm around the other’s neck and throwing him towards the mouth of the alley. When he looked over, the other boy had already dealt with the other three, two knocked out on the ground with their boss and the other running away.

“Thanks,” he offered, wiping away the stream of blood from his forehead.

“No big deal,” the other said, shrugging his shoulders and digging out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket. He held it between his lips, flicking a lighter and taking a long drag before offering it to Ichigo, who turned it down.

“Are you even old enough to smoke?” Ichigo asked, raising a brow. He looked older than Ichigo, but there was no way he was out of high school yet.

He grinned. “Nope,” he answered simply, taking another drag. “Gonna tell on me, strawberry?”

Ichigo scowled before his eyes lit with challenge. “No, don’t think I am, blueberry.”

The other boy snorted, coughing a little on his cigarette and releasing a few puffs of smoke before breaking out into a loud guffaw. When he grinned, it was almost like a shark, rows of pearly white teeth bared.

“I like you, kid. What’s your name?”

“Ichigo Kurosaki,” he offered, smirking. “And you’re not so bad yourself. Yours?”

“Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.”

And so began an unorthodox relationship.

…..

It was a bit strange how many of Ichigo’s friends came from them helping him out in a fight. And while Ichigo wouldn't consider himself a delinquent, not really--after all, it wasn’t like he was picking most of the fights, people just drug him into it--Grimmjow definitely fell into that category. Still, he wasn’t bad company. At three years older than Ichigo, he got into a lot of rougher shit than Ichigo liked to mess with, but he usually made an effort to not include Ichigo.

Ichigo spotted the signature blue hair on the bridge, coming up next to the lazily smoking teen and lightly kicking his calf, sending him a smirk.

“Yo.”

Grimmjow hummed back, blowing out a long drag. “Sup.”

“What’s got you being all broody?” Ichigo asked, turning away from the sunset and leaning back against the bridge’s railing.

“Usual shit,” Grimmjow said, eyes narrowing as he stared out at nothing.

Ichigo frowned, concerned. “You don’t look like it’s just the usual,” he argued quietly.

Grimmjow glanced over at him. “I don’t?”

“Kind of acting like it’s something heavy,” Ichigo murmured, leaning just a bit closer. “You need help, dude?”

Grimmjow never really spoke much about his personal life. Ichigo was also pretty closed-mouth about a lot of things, but he’d definitely revealed more than Grimmjow had during the course of their last few months of knowing each other. Ichigo didn’t really know much about Grimmjow’s home life or family or what exactly the ‘usual shit’ he dealt with was. He just knew he’d almost never seen the other without some kind of injury somewhere on his body, usually busted knuckles from a fight, and that sometimes from his get-up Ichigo got the distinct impression that he may be sleeping on the streets. Ichigo also never saw him in a school uniform even if he was supposed to be going so he had already assumed that he may have dropped out.

“Nah, I got it,” Grimmjow denied, looking away.

Ichigo brushed his shoulder against Grimmjow’s, earning the other’s attention . “Why don’t you come stay at my place for the night?” he offered casually.

Grimmjow stared at him hard and there was an unexpected wariness in his gaze. Ichigo wondered what had put it there, why Grimmjow was suddenly mistrustful of him.

“I’m fine,” Grimmjow muttered, looking away again.

“Dude,” Ichigo argued, brushing against him again. He startled when Grimmjow suddenly grabbed a fistful of the front of his shirt, yanking him forward until only inches separated them. His blue eyes were alight with something as he scanned Ichigo’s face, neither of them moving. Ichigo slowly reached up, resting his hand on Grimmjow’s and peeling his fingers away from Ichigo’s shirt. Grimmjow let him do it without much resistance, breathing harder than Ichigo would’ve expected.

“Come on,” Ichigo murmured, no longer giving him the option. He held onto Grimmjow’s wrist and gave him a tug to get him to start moving. Grimmjow followed him without comment. Ichigo didn’t let go of his wrist, just in case. At some point, Ichigo startled when Grimmjow shook his hold off his wrist and he went to let the other go when instead Grimmjow slid his palm against Ichigo’s and grasped his hand. He refused to meet Ichigo’s gaze when he sent him a questioning look so Ichigo just squeezed back, leading him to his house.

“I’m home,” Ichigo called out when they entered his house. “Brought a friend.”

“Hello!” Yuzu greeted immediately, smiling kindly at Grimmjow. “Nice to meet one of Ichigo’s friends! I’m almost done with dinner if you want to go wash up.”

“Thanks, Yuzu--”

“Ichigooooooo!”

Ichigo dodged his dad’s flying kick, grabbing his ankle and sending him careening into the wall. Grimmjow tensed beside him, looking ready to fight, grabbing for the inside of his jacket. Ichigo’s eyes narrowed; he wondered when Grimmjow had started carrying a weapon and what that weapon was.

“Excellent reflexes, son, I’m proud of you,” his dad wheezed, offering a thumbs up. Ichigo rolled his eyes, gesturing for Grimmjow to follow him upstairs to his room.

“You can wash up down there.” He waved towards the bathroom. Grimmjow grunted, heading down the hall. Ichigo watched his back with questions behind his lips.

Dinner was as exciting as any affair involving the Kurosaki family. Yuzu made every effort to be welcoming and the perfect host while Ichigo fended off his dad’s hairbrained antics and Karin shot Grimmjow narrow-eyed looks of distrust and offered the occasional bite of sarcasm. Grimmjow was uncharacteristically quiet, watching everyone and eating the food put before him almost subdued. He tucked in three helpings though, which gave Ichigo another pang of concern as he wondered if his friend had been getting enough to eat. After dinner, Yuzu ushered them out of the kitchen, refusing to let Ichigo or Grimmjow help clean up, so Ichigo headed back upstairs with Grimmjow following him.

Grimmjow sat on the edge of Ichigo’s bed as the other went to get out the futon, head hanging wearily. Ichigo frowned, rolling out the futon before sitting down on the floor and looking up at him.

“You’re carrying a weapon now,” Ichigo pointed out.

Grimmjow shot him a look from under his bangs. His lips twisted into a frown but he didn’t fight Ichigo as the other reached for his jacket, holding it open, eyes widening in disbelief at the shine of metal.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, staring up at Grimmjow in horror. “That’s a gun. What the fuck? What the fuck are you thinking?”

“It’s nothing, just forget about it,” Grimmjow looked away, nose curled in annoyance.

“Fuck that. Grimmjow, what the hell, dude!” Ichigo hissed, grabbing his collar and forcing Grimmjow to look at him again. Grimmjow snarled, grabbing Ichigo’s wrist tightly, uncomfortable, but not hurting him, not yet.

“Just leave it alone, Kurosaki,” Grimmjow growled.

Ichigo met his challenge head-on. “Hell no. You’re going to get yourself killed carrying that thing.”

Grimmjow lashed out, pressing Ichigo flat onto the ground with his heavily frame, and soon they were tussling on the ground, both trying to pin the other. The heat of violence was rolling through them both and Ichigo ducked under a wild punch, grabbing a fistful of blue hair. Grimmjow bit at his arm and Ichigo cursed, yanking away, and they both glowered at each other from separate corners of the room.

“Fuck this, I’m leaving,” Grimmjow snapped, heading for the door.

“No you aren’t,” Ichigo hissed, leaping onto his back.

“Get the fuck off me!”

“No!”

Ichigo kicked at the wall, sending them both falling onto the bed into a tangled mess of limbs and sheets. They were both panting after a long flurry of attempted attacks, Ichigo still clutching blindly onto Grimmjow’s shoulders to keep the other from leaving. Grimmjow sighed, dropping his head back onto Ichigo’s pillow with a tired huff and closing his eyes, so Ichigo hesitantly loosened his grip, shifting to the side so he wasn’t completely squashed under the heavier boy.

“Talk to me,” he murmured lowly into the tense silence that had settled.

Grimmjow sighed again. “It’s a long story.”

“I got time,” Ichigo argued, “and you’re my friend.”

“Che,” Grimmjow grumbled, “won’t be long once I tell you.”

Ichigo sat up on his knees, slamming his hands on either side of Grimmjow’s head and making the other look up at him.

“Talk to me,” he ordered, voice steely.

Grimmjow set his jaw, determination and daring in his eyes. “I’m gay.”

Ichigo blinked, startled. “What?”

Grimmjow sneered, lip curling up over white canines. “I said I’m gay. Going to kick me out now, berry?” His tone, posture, everything, screamed aggression.

Ichigo frowned. “No. Why would I?” He didn’t understand where this was coming from.

Grimmjow studied him hard for a long moment before looking defeated, turning his head away from Ichigo’s eyes. “My dad did,” he said.

“Oh.” Ichigo backed up a bit, sitting next to Grimmjow’s hip. Grimmjow closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see his face. “How long ago?”

“Couple weeks before I met you.” Grimmjow shrugged. “I’ve been making it work.”

“Why didn’t you say something, man? You could’ve stayed here.”

“I’m not a damn charity case. I can handle my own shit,” Grimmjow growled, sending him a cold glare.

“Never said you were,” Ichigo argued, stubbornly. “Doesn’t mean you have to be living on the streets though.” He waved at Grimmjow’s hip where the gun was still tucked away. “This have something to do with that?”

“Got in with some people,” Grimmjow answered vaguely.

Ichigo frowned. “Please tell me you aren’t in a gang.”

Grimmjow didn’t say anything.

“Goddammitt, Grimmjow, you stupid motherfucker,” he snapped, hitting the pillow beside Grimmjow’s head and making blue eyes jerk up to look at him. “Are you an idiot?”

“Fuck off, I’m fine,” Grimmjow snarled.

“You are carrying a gun around, _you are most fucking definitely not fine_,” Ichigo hissed quietly into his face.

Grimmjow glared at him coldly. “I’ve only got one more job to do and then I’ll be in. I don’t need your fucking pity, I’m fine.”

“Grimmjow, you’re talking about being in a gang. There is no out after this. Think for one second what you’re talking about,” Ichigo begged.

“This is the only way to--”

“Do they know?” Ichigo shouted over him, cutting him off.

“What?”

“Do they know?” Ichigo repeated, quieter but just as vehement. “What do you think will happen when they find out?”

Maybe being gay in Japan wasn’t much of an issue under normal circumstances, but Ichigo had no doubt that it wasn't a point of pride in the gang world.

Grimmjow’s hands fisted tightly into his sheets and Ichigo knew he was right, though the victory tasted like ash.

“Don’t do this,” Ichigo begged again, leaning just a bit closer.

“It’s my only option,” Grimmjow muttered, eyes dipping down to Ichigo’s lips when the younger boy wet them with his tongue for only a second of distraction before he looked back up to meet Ichigo’s gaze. Ichigo’s eyes widened in realization and Grimmjow cursed under his breath, knowing Ichigo had caught him, and Ichigo was surprised to see a hint of a blush color his face.

“Grimmjow,” he murmured.

“Don’t,” he snapped, defensive and prideful.

Ichigo followed his instincts, fingers brushing Grimmjow’s jaw and making the other tense from under him. They both stared at each other in silence before Ichigo inched closer, breathing heavier, nose skimming against Grimmjow’s.

“Don’t,” Grimmjow whispered, voice cracking just a bit. “Ichigo, I can’t.”

“Tell me you’ll refuse,” Ichigo said, daring.

“I can’t,” Grimmjow croaked.

Ichigo went from lightly touching Grimmjow’s jaw to cupping it, tilting his head just a bit, and Grimmjow’s eyes hooded even though he shook with repressed emotion, warring within himself.

“Kiss me,” Ichigo ordered.

Grimmjow did.

He moved like he’d been released from chains, mouth molding to Ichigo’s as he rolled until the younger boy was under him, one arm keeping most of his weight off him as the other curled around Ichigo’s back and clutched onto his shoulder tightly. Ichigo growled into the kiss, unfamiliar with the motions but refusing to let Grimmjow get the better hand, fingers curling into blue hair and holding on tightly. Grimmjow groaned and his tongue swiped against Ichigo’s lower lip, coaxing him into a deeper kiss that Ichigo could feel all the way to his toes. It was wet and a lot messier than Ichigo was expecting, and he broke apart their kiss to gasp for breath, one foot hooked around Grimmjow’s calf and their legs intertwined without him knowing how or when it had happened.

“Fuck,” Grimmjow cursed, sounding just as out of breath. He nosed under Ichigo’s chin, hand roving down Ichigo’s back strongly as he kissed up the other’s neck to his ear, sucking on the lobe for a quick second before teasing it with his teeth. “Fuck, Ichigo.”

Ichigo shivered at the sensation, pressing closer, needing more, something harder, something stronger, something--

He groaned lowly as Grimmjow’s knee pressed up between his legs, hips jerking against it and bringing attention to them both that he was sporting an erection. “Shit,” he hissed, rutting against Grimmjow’s thigh practically without thought, chasing after the sensation.

“Goddammit,” Grimmjow growled, dropping his forehead into Ichigo’s pillow and grinding his teeth together as he fought the urge to dominate the younger male. He panted against Ichigo’s skin, feeling the other writhe against him tantalizingly. “Ichigo, god.”

Ichigo shivered at his tone, dark and lustful. He mouthed wetly as Grimmjow’s neck and shoulder, kisses uncoordinated and sloppy, mind singing with pleasure. Grimmjow’s hand grabbed onto Ichigo’s hip, solid and strong, and he coaxed him into a steady rhythm, letting Ichigo take his pleasure. Ichigo dragged his fingers down Grimmjow’s back, cursing the other man’s shirt, digging his nails in for purchase. It didn’t take long before he was overwhelmed by everything, mind blanking and eyes clenching shut as he gasped for breath.

Ichigo trembled for a long moment, the orgasm stronger than anything he’d ever experienced under his own touch. It took a bit for him to realize Grimmjow was also shaking, although from holding back instead. He could feel the other’s erection against his hip but the older boy was steadfastly refusing to move, only breathing heavily against Ichigo’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Ichigo coaxed, trying to imitate how Grimmjow had moved against him, shifting his leg to press more solidly against Grimmjow’s cock. Grimmjow snarled silently, pulling back to shoot Ichigo a heavy look, the possessive lust in his gaze stealing Ichigo’s breath.

“No,” he barked, curt and tightly controlled. He pulled back further, letting Ichigo go, clearly intending to ignore the tent in the front of his pants.

“Grimmjow,” Ichigo argued, brow furrowing a bit as he prepared for another argument.

“No, Ichigo,” Grimmjow denied stonily, shaking his head. “This was a mistake.”

Ichigo felt cold run down his spine, self-consciously drawing back from the sting.

“Not you,” Grimmjow corrected, seeing the hurt Ichigo tried to hide. “You were…” he stopped, biting back words of endearment and affection, shaking his head, warring between leaving Ichigo hurt but safe or comforted but in danger. He glanced at the door, wondering if he could make a run for it, tensing when a tentative hand grabbed his and his attention was brought back to Ichigo’s determined eyes.

“Stay,” Ichigo demanded.

“I’ve got to--”

“Just,” Ichigo cut him off, “for now. For a bit. Please,” he added in a rough whisper.

Grimmjow caved under those eyes, crawling back up the bed and lying on his side. Ichigo curled under his chin, cuddling close, face twisting with discomfort at the mess in his boxers but scared that if he got up to change Grimmjow would already be gone. Grimmjow sighed, hand slowly massaging at Ichigo’s lower back, holding him close as he willed his own interest to wane. Ichigo wrapped a leg around his own, foot brushing up and down his calf distractedly, and Grimmjow almost told him to stop before the younger boy pressed a chaste kiss to the hollow of his throat, letting out a quiet breath.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” Ichigo whispered.

Grimmjow swallowed. “I will.”

“Promise me you’ll come back.”

“I will.”

Ichigo kept his eyes shut to the lies, ignoring the tears he could feel dampening his pillow. “Promise me you won’t get yourself killed.”

“Promise.”

Grimmjow buried his face in Ichigo’s hair and they both tried to ignore how Grimmjow’s voice had cracked and wavered with uncertainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been obsessed with GrimmIchi lately and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I've already got the next two chapters done, working on the last chapter. Might up the rating to explicit depending on how chapter 4 wraps up. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts! This is my first time writing for this ship and I hope I do it justice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the positive feedback! I'm so glad you're liking it! I hope you enjoy this chapter too! Lots of angst this time!
> 
> WARNINGS: violence, dub-con/threats of non-con, some sadism from Grimmjow

That night, Grimmjow left out the window, hours before Ichigo’s alarm went off for school. When the younger teen woke up, the bed was cold and he turned away, moving to take a shower robotically, refusing to let himself feel the hurt or worry.

Grimmjow didn’t come back. Ichigo didn’t know what happened, if he was okay or if something bad had happened to him. He searched obituaries sometimes, dreading the idea that he might see a familiar face. He hadn’t so far.

But that was months ago though, and so much had changed since then.

Now Ichigo was chasing down a hollow, Rukia at his side, zanpakuto clutched in his grip. The hollow roared, crashing through the residential district and demolishing the light pole it ran into. Ichigo slashed at it, cutting off an arm before he sliced through the mask and the hollow disintegrated.

With his new responsibilities, he couldn’t let himself be distracted by thoughts of Grimmjow. He was worried by what the silence meant, but there was no way for him to find out the truth; he and Grimmjow had never exchanged cellphone numbers and he had no idea where the other lived. He’d just have to keep going as he was and hope Grimmjow would turn up on his doorstep one day, probably a little bloodied, but hopefully breathing. Ichigo would take anything as long as the other was still breathing.

When he infiltrated Soul Society, Ichigo couldn’t think about him either. When he got home, he still couldn’t think about him, not with the heavy weight of Aizen and a whole new range of worries to add on to his shoulders.

Arrancars. Ulquiorra and Yammy were monsters beyond anything Ichigo had ever faced before. He had to put all his focus on beating them, on stopping Aizen's army, Aizen's _war_.

But then.

Then.

Then Grimmjow was all Ichigo could think about.

Same blue hair. Same wild grin. Same fiery eyes.

A hundred times the bloodlust, thousands of times the strength, and none of the recognition or memory.

Grimmjow was gone.

Ichigo's heart shattered, even if it was Rukia who took Grimmjow's fist to the chest.

"No!" He roared, trying to prove himself on equal ground, trying to fight this monster that was once one of his friends. Maybe even something more. Might've been, anyways, if he hadn't left.

Grimmjow laughed and it carried none of the teasing, the brightness, the _life_. He beat Ichigo and there were no pulled punches, no small mercies. He grinned and there was no softness, no secret affection.

When Tousen forced Grimmjow back to Hueco Mundo before he could release his zanpakuto, Ichigo had never felt more absolutely defeated.

It wasn't that he thought Grimmjow's strength was insurmountable. And it wasn't necessarily that he'd been in love with the other. But he had cared for him, he'd considered Grimmjow a close friend, not to mention the other things they'd done the last time he'd seen him. The first time Ichigo had ever been with someone like that, and now he was trying to kill him. It felt like something sour settling in his gut, churning bitterly and making Ichigo nauseous.

Ichigo thought about that last night, curled in Grimmjow's warm embrace, safe, and then waking up to cold sheets and an empty bed.

Grimmjow had kissed him like he was the most precious thing on earth. He'd held him like Ichigo would be snatched away if he didn't. He'd consumed him like Ichigo was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that was important.

Ichigo hadn't been in love, but god, he could've been. If Grimmjow had just _stayed_.

He couldn't begin to explain these things to Rukia or the others. The only ones who'd ever met Grimmjow as a human and knew of his and Ichigo's friendship was Chad and his family; his family obviously wasn't involved in this mess, and Chad had sent him a questioning look whenever his name was mentioned and Ichigo had set his jaw and shook his head once to say he didn't want to talk about it. Chad was a good friend though, could read Ichigo like a book, and he never pried. He squeezed Ichigo's shoulder supportively and that was the end of it.

Ichigo threw himself into training with his hollow powers. Whenever Grimmjow returned, he had to be ready. He had to be stronger, do better, harden his heart to the one who had just started to claim it.

The next time Ichigo saw Grimmjow, he was sans an arm, and Ichigo could almost fool himself into it being a spar like old times, if he ignored Grimmjow's clear intent to kill him and his friends. Even if he was an arrancar without his human memories, Grimmjow seemed focused on Ichigo, seeking him out. Ichigo wondered if maybe, subconsciously, he did remember him, at least some things, but he was quick to push those thoughts out of his mind. It would do no good to hope for something that could never happen again.

Then Orihime was taken and Ichigo felt like a fool.

Ichigo stared at the crater where Ulquiorra and Yammy had first touched down in this realm, frustration and anger eating him alive. Aizen had taken two of his friends now, Orihime in body and Grimmjow in mind. Ichigo yelled out in wordless fury, sending a getsuga tenshou towards the ground, over and over, wildly slashing, ignoring the tears that spilled from his eyes and trailed down his face.

It wasn't fair! It was never fair. Grimmjow wasn't supposed to die! He was supposed to show up at the clinic one day, worse for wear but alive, and Ichigo would help his dad patch him up and then they'd take him in and help him get out of whatever mess he'd gotten himself into and they'd kiss some more and Ichigo would feel like he was precious to someone again.

Ichigo choked on a sob, energy barge ceasing as he dropped to his knees, zanpakuto stabbed into the dirt and head hung low.

"God damn you, Grimmjow," Ichigo cursed wetly. "You weren't supposed to be dead, you fucking idiot. I told you not to go."

"The fuck you talking about?"

Ichigo stiffened, head jerking up and spotting the one-armed espada watching him with a confused scowl. Ichigo scrambled to his feet, glaring angrily and readying Zangetsu.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo snarled, wounds too close to the surface to hide the hurt completely, lashing out with all the anger in him. "Come to gloat on your victory?"

"Was going to finish our fight," Grimmjow admitted easily with a shrug, stepping a bit closer, brows furrowing. "Then I get here and you're all pathetic looking. Figured I'd put you out of your misery, but what you just said...the fuck you mean by that?"

"You weren't supposed to hear that," Ichigo growled. There would be no Rukia or Shinji this time to get him out of this pinch and he was too worn down, physically and emotionally. He didn't see how he'd make it out of this one alive.

"Obviously," Grimmjow snarked, rolling his eyes. "But I'm asking you what it fucking means. I'm not supposed to be dead? You told me not to go? The fuck?"

Ichigo glowered silently, backing up a step as Grimmjow prowled forward.

"Tell me what it _fucking means_!" He shrieked, launching himself at Ichigo and grabbing his sword barehanded, shoving Ichigo back into the trees before slapping away Zangetsu and wrapping his hand around his throat. Ichigo gagged, grabbing for his wrist while kicking out at Grimmjow's stomach. Any attack he made was ineffective without his bankai or hollow powers and Ichigo scrambled to reach for his mask, only for Grimmjow to shake him vigorously, his head smacking against the trunk of the tree painfully.

"Explain," Grimmjow growled, leaning into Ichigo's face, close enough for him to feel his breath on his lips. "Explain why I can't get your goddamn eyes out of my head. Explain why all I want to do is _crush your motherfucking heart in my hand_," he demanded.

Ichigo choked, surprised when Grimmjow let up enough for him to breathe, to talk. He had never been a great liar, didn't know what else to say beyond the truth.

"I knew you when you were alive."

Grimmjow frowned, but his grip loosened. "Bullshit," he denied. "It took me years to devour enough hollows to evolve. No way a kid like you was alive when I was human."

"Grimmjow, you couldn't have been dead for more than a year if you died the last day I saw you," Ichigo claimed. "Maybe time works differently in Hueco Mundo, I don't know, but I knew you. I would never forget you."

Grimmjow didn't look convinced. "Why? Cause I was one of your precious little friends? Don't make me laugh, Kurosaki," he snarled, grip tightening in anger.

"You were so much more," Ichigo whispered without meaning to, eyes dropping unbidden to Grimmjow's lips before looking away in shame. "Could've been more," he frowned bitterly, fingers digging into Grimmjow's forearm and nails biting at his hierro.

Grimmjow paused, eyes widening a hair in realization. "You fucking with me?" He demanded, voice quiet and all manner of lethal. "You telling me I can't get you out of my head because we fucked? Seriously?"

Ichigo sent him a nasty glower. "I said could've been, you fucker. You left like a damned _coward_. And then apparently you _died_, like I_ told you_ would happen!" He worked himself up to a yell.

Grimmjow growled, slamming Ichigo back into the tree and making Ichigo's ire and queasiness both racket up a few points. He settled for silently glaring, willing his head to stop spinning.

"Maybe I should correct that then," Grimmjow threatened darkly. "I could fuck you right now and there's nothing you could do about it, is there?"

Ichigo paled. He'd faced the idea of death too many times to count, definitely more times than a kid ever should, but this was something new, something worse, something terrifying.

"No." He shook, hands clutching at Grimmjow's arm, searching for any hint of kindness still in his eyes, finding nothing but hate and hunger and loathing.

"Oh, that's a pretty expression," Grimmjow purred, grinning with satisfaction as he leaned closer. "You that scared of having my dick in you?"

"Grimmjow," Ichigo tried, breathing fast with fear, unable to curb his reaction. "Don't. Not this." He bit back a 'please', scared it wouldn't make a difference anyways. Scared it might be the weakness that would send Grimmjow over the edge.

"Beg me," he teased, voice lilting with humor. He was toying with him and Ichigo couldn't do a damn thing, couldn't tell if he intended to carry out his threat or not.

Ichigo bit his tongue, mind whirling. He had to come up with something. He had to be strategic for once, this wasn't a situation that brute force was going to get him out of. He couldn't give in, he knew instinctively the weakness would disgust Grimmjow and make certain he'd carry out his threat. He couldn't fight him or Grimmjow would do it just to prove Ichigo had no power.

Ichigo's hands trembled and he fought the urge to spew pleas from his lips, anything but that. He stared into Grimmjow's eyes and saw mercilessness, saw humor, saw cruelty. He felt sick all over again, for a different reason now.

"Or maybe you'd rather I went back to Hueco Mundo and fucked your little princess?" Grimmjow murmured lowly, sending a shock of cold ice through Ichigo's entire body, mind blanking as complete horror overwhelmed him. "Since you won't beg, I bet she would. I'll even let her know it's because of you. Aizen said she had to be in one piece, not that she had to be undamaged."

"No!" Ichigo said.

"Then fucking _beg me_, Kurosaki," Grimmjow snarled, lip curling similar to how he'd done when he was a human but with more anger, more hate. "Beg me not to fuck you. Beg me not to rip you into pieces."

"...please," Ichigo whispered, shutting his eyes to the hate and disgust.

"Fucking _look at me!_"

Ichigo was slammed into the tree again, groaning at the sudden attack, his eyes flew open, staring right into Grimmjow's furious blues.

"Look at me and know who you're begging," he hissed dangerously.

"Please, Grimmjow," Ichigo tried again, pushing back bile.

"Please what?" Grimmjow seethed, sneering victoriously.

"Please don't...don't…" Ichigo was surprised to find his vision blurred, fear dripping from his eyes and sadness choking him. This wasn't his Grimmjow. His Grimmjow was gone, never to return, and in his place was a monster who only existed to torture Ichigo with his face. "Please don't rape me," Ichigo hiccuped, sniffling wetly. "Please, Grimmjow. Please. Don't do this. I can't, not you, not like this, not--" he cut himself off with a sob, biting his lip until he bled to stop the flow of words, of emotions.

Grimmjow looked far from satisfied, disgust scrunched his nose, and he leaned forward, wet tongue lapping up a trail of tears from Ichigo's chin over his cheek. Ichigo cringed, unable to turn away.

"You're so weak, Kurosaki," Grimmjow muttered. "It's pathetic."

Ichigo bit back more words of babble, more sobs. He couldn't stop quivering. He wanted to go home, he never wanted to be a part of this, he'd only ever wanted to protect those close to him. And now Grimmjow, the proof of his failure, was going to tear into him, violate him and break him beyond what anyone else could or had ever done before.

"You were supposed to come back," Ichigo whispered, unable to hold it in. "You promised you'd come back. I _missed_ you," he cried quietly, blinking through his tears. "We were supposed to be _more_."

Grimmjow's face twisted, something not quite disgust, but definitely unhappiness. He leaned closer, faces inches apart.

"Don't," Ichigo begged brokenly.

Grimmjow lessened his hold on Ichigo's throat, hand sliding up to his face, thumb brushing through the tracks of tears. He pressed his advantage, stepping even closer.

"Grimmjow, don't, please." Their noses were skimming now, an ironic reverse to nearly a year ago.

"Kiss me," Grimmjow demanded lowly.

Ichigo did.

Gut churning with guilt, face stained with shame, Ichigo reached out for Grimmjow and pulled him closer, mouth molding to the Sexta's and letting him devour him. His hollow mask dug into Ichigo's skin uncomfortably as Grimmjow swept his tongue across Ichigo's teeth, tasting the blood from earlier, claiming his mouth as his. Ichigo leaned into his touch, one hand wrapped in Grimmjow's hair while the other clutched onto his back, fingers mere centimeters from the hole in his abdomen. Grimmjow pressed him back into the tree, wedging his leg between Ichigo's, hand grasping at Ichigo's ass and roughly pulling him against his thigh.

"Driving me fucking crazy," Grimmjow was muttering, breaking their kiss as he dragged his teeth down Ichigo's jaw, sucking and biting and nipping along the way to his neck. "Can't get you out of my head. Those goddamn _eyes_, like you fucking own me or some shit, I want to rip them out of your head, I want to fucking _destroy_ you," he hissed venomously, biting down on Ichigo's shoulder and sucking a dark mark into his skin and Ichigo groaned. "Hate you worse than Aizen, Tousen, Ulquiorra." He licked up Ichigo's neck to his ear, nipping at the lobe and drawing a hint of blood. "I want to tear into you and claim you. You're _mine_, Kurosaki," he snarled, erection thrusting into Ichigo's stomach and making the other teen sweat.

Ichigo wasn't sure how he ever could've been anyone else's.

Grimmjow's touch burned, forcing Ichigo into his pace, savagely claiming his mouth as his own. He yanked Ichigo against him tightly.

"If you don't want me to fuck you, you better get me off some other way," he growled against his lips.

Ichigo grunted, leg hiking against Grimmjow's thigh as the other dug his fingers tighter into his ass. He reached down, cupping Grimmjow's hard dick and giving him something to fuck against. Grimmjow rutted into his touch, rough and violent, and Ichigo wrapped his leg even higher around Grimmjow, hooking his calf around his hips and encouraging him to thrust harder. Ichigo scowled when Grimmjow lapped at the remaining tears on his face, drawing attention to his moment of weakness, so he boldly stuck his hand beneath Grimmjow's hakama and gripped him in his hand to distract him, stroking along his length. He panted for breath from Grimmjow's enthusiastic kisses, not completely unaffected himself, and he had the presence of mind to be thankful for this out as Grimmjow felt thick in his hand and he had no doubt it would be incredibly painful to take it without a lot of preparation and lube.

"Lick your palm, fuck," Grimmjow ordered gruffly, hissing as Ichigo palmed him dry. Ichigo spat on his hand before returning to his stroking. "Better," Grimmjow acknowledged, practically gnawing on Ichigo's shoulder. He could only imagine the bruises he'd be sporting tomorrow.

"One day I will fuck you," Grimmjow threatened him.

"You've made promises before that you didn't keep," Ichigo growled out, over being hurt and afraid, now angry and just trying to get this over with.

Grimmjow laughed, biting down until Ichigo felt him break skin, fucking into Ichigo's hand violently. Ichigo twisted his wrist, thumbing the underside of the head of Grimmjow's cock, feeling a thrum of satisfaction when the Sexta groaned and held his thigh tight enough to bruise, digging Ichigo's back into the tree as he thrusted his hips erratically. Ichigo squeezed him just a bit tighter and then the other was coming on him, shoulder lacing with pain that made Ichigo flinch as Grimmjow dug his teeth deeper, pressed closer, and growled animalistically.

Grimmjow let up on him minutely in the aftermath, still pressed close but not longer suffocatingly so. He unlocked his jaw and Ichigo hissed at the sting of his teeth leaving his flesh, making the arrancar laugh as he drug his tongue roughly through the slow trickle of blood, lapping it from Ichigo's skin.

Ichigo wiped his hand off on his own shihakusho since it was already a mess from Grimmjow's spend. He wondered what the other's next move would be, if he'd want to fight or would leave this time without being made to.

"I'll let you off this time," Grimmjow answered his unspoken question, pulling away to send Ichigo a bored look.

Ichigo raised a brow, smirking. "Thought I was the one who let you get off?"

Grimmjow barked a laugh. "Cheeky fucker."

Ichigo shrugged. "Next time I'll be stronger," he promised.

Grimmjow grinned. "You fucking better be, Kurosaki. Your ass is mine. Don't forget." He reached out with his hand, clawing open a garganta. He stepped through and then he was gone within moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be posted next weekend. I hope everyone came off as in-character! Grimmjow was a bit intense when he was first introduced so I tried to stay true to that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karin makes a very brief appearance that probably doesn't line up with canon but I like her so it's staying, lol.

Ichigo stood across from his opponent on the sands of Heuco Mundo and he knew he would win. He had to.

Grimmjow was dangerous, fast, powerful, but Ichigo had someone to protect, and he couldn't afford to fail. 

When he crushed Grimmjow's final attack, he also couldn't let the other die. Even in the end, he'd held back that final fatal blow. He caught Grimmjow before he fell, lowering him to the ground. 

"Damn you, Kurosaki," Grimmjow snarled, blood spilling past his lips. 

Ichigo offered a wry smile, wishing he had more time. "We'll settle the score next time."

Grimmjow spat. "Not supposed to be a next time. Finish this shit!" He demanded. 

Ichigo couldn't help the narrowing of his eyes, the spark of rebellion, mischievousness. He flashed closer, smirking in Grimmjow's face. "If my ass is yours, then yours in _ mine_," he growled too low for Orihime to hear, Grimmjow's eyes widening in surprise. "Don't die," he ordered quietly. 

Nnoitra was an opportunistic bastard, and when Ichigo turned away, Grimmjow was too shocked by his words to dodge. Ichigo turned to block the follow-up attack, furious beyond measure, and Grimmjow watched him with calculating eyes before he succumbed to unconsciousness. 

Grimmjow healed slow. He was an Espada, he could manage a lot, but even this was too close to death for his comfort. He drug himself through the sands, warring with disgust and pride, gorging on any foolish lizard or minor hollow dumb enough to venture close. He curled up in the dark, restless, wary of the soul reapers that continued to intrude on Hueco Mundo. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance against even their lieutenants now and like hell was he not keeping his unspoken promise to Ichigo. 

He was too curious at the prospects of _ more_. 

When he finally felt healed up, he went hunting. The smart adjuchas had scattered to the wind, but there were plenty of stupid hotheads that thought to take advantage of the catastrophic loss of higher life in Hueco Mundo. Grimmjow couldn't blame them, he would've done the same, but he had no qualms with tearing into them either, devouring their souls and power until he finally felt close to normal. 

When he slipped through a garganta into Karakura, the town was quiet, asleep. He had no way of knowing how long it had been, but from the peacefulness he was assuming Ichigo had succeeded in his endeavor to end the war. He frowned when he couldn't pinpoint Ichigo's normally oppressive power, having to scent the human like he did weaker adjuchas in the desert, following the trail to a small clinic. 

He could see Ichigo through the window of the second floor, scowling down at a desk, shoulders tense. 

Grimmjow still couldn't feel him. 

He leapt up to the window, pushing it open and startling the boy. Ichigo turned wide eyes at his direction but he wasn't looking at him, wasn't seeing him. It was like he was blind. 

"The fuck's your problem?" He demanded. 

Nothing. No reaction. Ichigo jerked his head around, eyes scanning, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. 

"What the hell?"

"Who is it?" Ichigo asked, voice quiet, shaking with uncertainty. Fear. _ Weakness_. 

Grimmjow gritted his teeth, rage boiling through his veins. This _ kid _ had the daring to beat him and then somehow lose his powers so Grimmjow couldn't even settle the score? He snarled wordlessly, barely refraining from punching his fist through his chest like he'd done the stupid bitch that had always stood by Ichigo's side. Ichigo couldn't even see him, had no idea how stupid he looked, staring into blank space. Ichigo's fists clenched in frustration, shoulders shaking with suppressed anger, and Grimmjow liked the taste of that anger, that spark of life in those blind eyes. 

Ichigo's eyes narrowed in thought and he glanced around the room once more. There was only so many people who'd come into his room and yet not make an effort to communicate with him. He could wager a guess. 

"Grimmjow."

The arrancar stiffened, wondering if it had all been an act, but Ichigo was still cluelessly watching air. 

"You're probably pissed," Ichigo began, slowly easing from his ready crouch. "I gave up my powers to defeat Aizen."

Grimmjow kicked at Ichigo's fallen chair, startling the other. He barely refrained from lashing out at Ichigo directly. How _ dare _ he! 

"What the fuck?" He shouted. "What happened to all that shit you said? You goddamn _ fucker!" _

"Yo."

They both looked to the door, a black-haired girl peeking her head around the corner of the doorframe. She sent Grimmjow a nasty glower. 

"Screaming isn't doing anything but giving me a headache. Shut up," she ordered him blandly, ducking out of the room before Grimmjow could recover from his shock and snap at her. 

Ichigo sighed, sitting on the bed and slumping tiredly. "She's right, you know. I can't hear you either. Yelling won't make a difference."

Grimmjow hissed through his teeth in irritation, kicking at Ichigo's leg, careful not to hit him too hard since apparently the idiot was just a pathetic weak human now. 

"Liar," he spat, jostling Ichigo when he sat down on the bed beside him, not sure of what else to do. 

"I'm sorry," Ichigo murmured quietly. 

"Fuck you."

"I wanted to fight you again."

"I want to beat your sorry face in."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

Grimmjow glared at the ground hard. He didn't react when Ichigo leaned against his side, warm and alive and trusting and _ weak weak weak_.

He could take what he wanted, but it would be worthless now. He could beat Ichigo until he stopped moving, but it wouldn't mean shit. If Ichigo couldn't fight back, couldn't look at him with those eyes, couldn't hear him, couldn't yell at him…

Ichigo huffed. "This sucks," he grumbled. 

Grimmjow flicked his side, watching Ichigo scowl and rub at the red mark, glaring in Grimmjow's direction and he ended up looking just right of his forehead. "Fucker," Ichigo accused him quietly.

"I'm leaving." Grimmjow didn't know why he bothered announcing it, standing and rolling his eyes as Ichigo fell into the space he'd been occupying without the other to lean against. 

"Wait!" 

Ichigo reached out blindly, connecting with Grimmjow's hakama and grabbing a fistful of the cloth. Grimmjow sneered down at him, grabbing his wrist and squeezing tight enough for it to be uncomfortable. 

"Wait," Ichigo repeated, voice quieter, just a hair away from begging, turning Grimmjow's stomach with distaste. "Wait."

Grimmjow waited, hating that he did, hating that he couldn't just walk away, couldn't just slap away Ichigo's hand like he didn't care how many bones he broke. He _ didn't _care. 

Ichigo reached out with his free hand, seemingly unbothered that his other was still held in such a tight grasp, skimming up Grimmjow's chest, palm resting in the curve of Grimmjow's neck and shoulder, reaching higher to brush his fingertips against his hollow mask, tracing the jagged bone and teeth. He had the look of someone who was remorseful, longing, bitter, and Grimmjow bit at his fingers when he brushed across his lips, teeth digging into the soft flesh without breaking the skin. Ichigo flinched, fingers jumping in his mouth before curling around his bottom teeth and pulling Grimmjow closer, straightening until he could stand directly in front of Grimmjow. 

"Asshole," Ichigo muttered, shaking his head and smiling with a touch of fondness while Grimmjow tightening his hold on his other hand, yanking him even closer until they were pressed against each other, finally letting Ichigo remove his fingers from his mouth so he could brutishly grab a fistful of Ichigo's hair and claim his mouth in a viscous kiss. 

Ichigo grabbed onto Grimmjow's shoulder, nails digging into him as he closed his eyes and kissed back just as hard, desperation thick in the air. Grimmjow licked into his mouth, sweeping him into his pace, nipping his bottom lip before sucking on it and leaving his lips swollen and kiss-darkened. 

"Fuck," Ichigo whispered between them once they broke apart, not pulling away and instead remaining in Grimmjow's face, nose brushing against Grimmjow's as he leaned just a hair closer. "Grimmjow."

Grimmjow shoved him onto the bed and Ichigo yelped in surprise, eyes flying open, but he only had a second before Grimmjow was crawling over him and slotting their legs together, claiming his mouth in another deep kiss which Ichigo melted into. Ichigo grasped his hollow mask, tugging him close by it while his other dragged down his back. Grimmjow dragged his teeth down Ichigo's jaw and the other slid his hand from his mask to his hair, combing his fingers through the strands before clutching tightly and letting Grimmjow bite and suck at his neck. No doubt he'd look like he'd been mauled by an animal once Grimmjow was done but neither of them cared about that. 

Ichigo's hand on his back caught the edge of Grimmjow's hollow hole, making him tense at the feeling. Ichigo's brow furrowed in confusion before he seemed to understand what he was touching, a surprised gentleness causing him to carefully trace his fingers along the edge, curious. He glanced to the side where Grimmjow had stopped sucking in his neck, softly brushing the inside edge, feeling Grimmjow stiffen. 

"Does that feel good?" Ichigo asked the air. 

Grimmjow mulled it over, closing his eyes to the shiver that Ichigo's light touch brought. He didn't think his hollow hole was especially sensitive, but perhaps just the unfamiliarity of the touch was causing such a strong reaction. Whatever it was, he didn't think it was unpleasant. He mouthed wetly at Ichigo's jaw, the passion of them both slowed as they took the time to explore this new sensation. 

"Hmmm," Ichigo hummed, dropping his head back and closing his eyes again, continuing his exploration with soft, slow movements. Grimmjow licked at his skin, tasting salty sweat, sliding his mouth down Ichigo's shoulder to mark up the skin there as well. Ichigo ground down on his thigh, jerking Grimmjow closer, making the espada growl against his skin, roughly grinding their erections together. 

Something about the heat, the noises Ichigo made, the movement of his body, it sent Grimmjow's head reeling, pangs of deja-vu that didn't make sense. He'd never been in this room in his life, so why did the walls look familiar? Why did the sound of Ichigo's bedframe creaking under them sound so nostalgic? 

He rutted against the other, pushing down the sense of familiarity. He was here to fuck, not to fret over long dead emotions. Even if Ichigo had told the truth, even if they had known each other when he'd been alive, that was a completely different time. Ichigo couldn't even see him right now! 

Ichigo wrapped a leg around his hip and encouraged him to move with more purpose. Grimmjow growled against his skin, teeth teasing his flesh as he rutted against him and they both chased their completion. 

Grimmjow shivered as his orgasm washed over him, tensing and shaking through the aftershocks of pleasure while he panted wetly against Ichigo's shoulder. He let his eyes drift closed and he barely had the train of thought to rub his thigh tighter against the apex of Ichigo's thighs, feeling the teen under him grind against him before groaning his release and clutching onto Grimmjow tightly through it. 

They were quiet in the aftermath, eyes shut to the world, not wanting to acknowledge the mess this put them in. If Ichigo didn't have his powers, there was no world this would work. Perhaps Grimmjow could be tempted by the curious idea of _ more_, but no vague insinuations were going to lead him to a life in the living world. 

"Dammit," Ichigo cursed under his breath, voice cracking, and Grimmjow lifted his head enough to see frustrated tears leaking from the corners of his eyes down to his pillow. His hand was fisted tightly and he punched at his mattress. "God_ dammit_."

Grimmjow nosed at his cheek, licking at the trail of tears and pulling a delirious snort of hysterical humor from Ichigo who pushed his face away. "Quit being weird," he muttered, voice uneven and breaking with emotion. 

Grimmjow didn't waste words, not when Ichigo couldn't hear them anyway. He let Ichigo's hand turn to cup his mask, moved to rest his bare cheek against Ichigo's own, both of them breathing slowly. 

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Ichigo hissed, hiccupping a sob through clenched teeth that he tried to hold back. "Goddammit, Grimmjow, why'd you have to die, you dumb fucker?" 

Grimmjow nipped his ear, shifting higher on the bed, ignoring the uncomfortable tacky feel of drying cum in his hakama as he curved his body to blanket Ichigo's, a solid weight which the other could feel, if nothing else. Ichigo's hands wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly, and he buried his face in Grimmjow's shoulder as the sobs came loose. They were born of frustration and self-pity, which normally Grimmjow would find too pathetic to even entertain, but from Ichigo they just felt heavy, and Grimmjow wondered when was the last time the other had cried, if maybe it was the last time he'd made him. It felt like so long ago now. He wondered if perhaps he'd meant more to the teen than Ichigo had admitted, if maybe there was more to the story of him having known him as human. Whatever the case, it was too late for him to ask now. 

Listening to Ichigo slowly regain control of himself, Grimmjow found himself contemplating the future. He was probably one of, if not the last, espada. He had no master to answer to, but equally no allies to support him. Soul Society was probably still scrambling to cover their own ranks, but he wasn't so foolish as to think they'd been more affected than Hueco Mundo. Nearly all the vasto lorde or higher level adjuchas had been turned to arrancar and now they were almost completely wiped out. It would take decades, centuries even, for those holes to be filled in the rankings. If he was ever found by Soul Society, he'd be their number one target; he couldn't risk frequent visits into the human realm, not for some powerless boy, not for anything. Ichigo may be powerless now, but they would still close ranks around him and his friends. 

Grimmjow's stomach turned at the very idea that he may be contemplating making repeat visits. Ichigo was nothing now. There was no reason for him to come back, he'd seen all he needed. Any chance of _ more _ was gone along with his powers. 

He shifted again on the bed, leaning away. Ichigo sniffled loudly, wiping at his face brutishly, clutching Grimmjow's jacket with his other hand tightly. 

"Stay," Ichigo croaked, voice just a hairsbreadth from pleading. "Just...just for a while. Please."

Grimmjow caved, willing to give in just for this night, and he rolled to the side on the bed. Ichigo cuddled close to him, nosing under his chin and intertwining their legs. Something about this felt like deja-vu too, made his chest ache with something like loss, and Grimmjow pushed it away, breathing in the other's scent, knowing this might be the last time he saw him, if not forever then at least for a long time. 

"Promise me you'll be careful," Ichigo whispered. "That you won't get yourself killed. Again." 

Grimmjow said nothing. It wasn't like he could hear him anyways. 

Ichigo hit his side, surprising Grimmjow but far from hurting him. "Promise me!" He demanded. 

Grimmjow huffed humorlessly, mouth pressed against Ichigo's forehead so he could feel him speak. "I promise," he rumbled lowly, and Ichigo nodded against him, tucking closer and clutching onto him. 

"I'll figure something out," Ichigo whispered quietly into his chest. "I don't know how, but I've managed the impossible before. Don't give up on me completely."

Grimmjow wouldn't say it, but he'd never count the kid out completely. Ichigo had impressed him before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that I have not seen Bleach in a long time, and I stopped watching after Ichigo lost his powers and never picked it up again (although learning that Grimmjow makes a new appearance makes me want to start reading it again), so please be gentle if anything doesn't 100% match up with canon. I'm trying to keep things mostly the same, but you know how it is sometimes.
> 
> I will probably be upping the rating to 'explicit' for the next chapter, just a heads up. 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The finale is finally here! Sorry for that lengthy wait. This is mostly porn though, if that wins me any bonus points. ;)
> 
> Not really many spoilers since I'm not caught up, but I did use some quotes from the Grimmjow and Ichigo reunion scene and I did use the same canon idea of how he got his powers back, I just vaguely summarized it because Wiki didn't explain it well enough for me to fully understand and I didn't care to go into too much detail anyways. Also, idk where the canon-verse is, but I just assumed they win. I mean, obviously. 
> 
> Also, as you can see, I've decided to un-anon-ify this fic! I don't know if/when I've ever post another GrimmIchi fic, but there you go. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Happy holidays, everyone!

The next year and half was long. Ichigo felt the loss of his powers like the loss of a limb or a sense. His friends coddled him now, to an irksome degree. He hated being pushed aside and told to stay safe. He wanted to help, to protect, to fight. 

Grimmjow didn't come back. 

He wanted to know if he'd kept his promise, if he was still alive. He hadn't heard anything from Soul Society about him, but with as far removed as he'd been pushed from the center of things, it wouldn't be difficult but them to hide something like that from him. 

If Grimmjow was smart, he wouldn't leave Hueco Mundo again. The thought made Ichigo scowl and tasted sour on his tongue, but it was the truth. He couldn't offer purpose or protection anymore. There was nothing for Grimmjow here. 

The Fullbring was his first taste of hope, like a man in the desert who'd dreamt up an oasis. It could be real, he was scared to believe, but he couldn't avoid it, couldn't at least try. 

Ichigo tried. 

Feeling his powers for the first time in so long was beyond any experience to date. It was like coming home. 

And just like that, his life changed all over again. 

Between everything going on, he had pushed his and Grimmjow's ongoing dance of the possibilities of  _ more _ to the back of his mind. Up until he was staring at the man in question, that was. 

He was surprised and yet not that Urahara had found Grimmjow and somehow recruited him to help. He wondered if perhaps Grimmjow had been hoping for this to happen, for them to meet once more, this time on the same side. 

"Who said I'm on your side?" Grimmjow drawled, watching Ichigo with lazy eyes that sparked with heat, like a hunter watching prey it was willing to wait for. "If things play out according to that guy's plan, Hueco Mundo gets destroyed. Then where would I mangle that body of yours?"

Ichigo smirked, feeling his power thrumming in his veins as he met Grimmjow's eyes. 

"Makes perfect sense," he murmured lowly, Grimmjow returning his heavy look. Later. They would settle  _ this _ \--their history, this teasing push and pull, their inopportune moments of passion--later. 

…..

Ichigo was  _ exhausted _ . They'd won, but it hadn't been easy. He barely had the energy to confirm that all his friends would be okay before he passed out from the complete depletion of his power, sleeping like the dead for three days straight. 

When Ichigo woke up, he was curled in his room, in his body, and he scrambled for his soul badge before he was even fully conscious, pushing himself out of his body just to confirm he still could. 

He breathed a sigh of relief at the weight of Zangetsu on his back, grabbing the hilt for added comfort. He settled his body back on his bed somewhat comfortably before he flashed to Urahara's to get a status on his friends. 

He was almost there before a familiar energy suddenly intercepted him, shoving him back into an alley and pressing against him tightly. Ichigo didn't hesitate, grabbing a fistful of Grimmjow's hair and yanking his mouth to his, both of them meeting in a rough and messy kiss. 

Grimmjow and he had been separated over the course of their attack and Ichigo still didn't know the details of what had happened, but they'd won and that was all he really cared about right then. That and Grimmjow's body against his. He pulled the other tighter to him, nipping at Grimmjow's top lip and hissing when the other returned it with a hard bite on his bottom lip, nearly drawing blood. Ichigo glowered when Grimmjow pulled away smirking, licking his lips as he eyed Ichigo's kiss-swollen mouth with dark eyes. 

"Time to put up or shut up, Kurosaki," Grimmjow murmured, voice deceptively soft for the harshness of his words. "Meet me in Hueco Mundo in a week. I'm going to beat you bloody and then we'll have some real fun."

Ichigo smirked, excitement coursing through him. "Sounds like a plan," he agreed. 

Grimmjow growled, sweeping him into another brutal kiss, licking at Ichigo's teeth. Ichigo scratched at his scalped as he pulled on blue strands, nails digging into Grimmjow's back. He pressed two fingers against the edge of his hollow hole teasingly, smirking when Grimmjow jerked back to glare at him. 

"So I didn't imagine your reaction that night," Ichigo grinned. "That's going to be fun to explore."

Grimmjow snarled. "I wouldn't be concerned with that; I'm going to fuck you into the dirt." 

Ichigo laughed. "We'll see," he said, pressing against the inside of his hole and grinning when Grimmjow shivered at the odd sensation. Ichigo leaned closer until their lips brushed as he spoke. "I wonder what it  _ tastes _ like."

Grimmjow's lip curled, a familiar look, and Ichigo was pleased to see the hint of humor in his eyes, the heat. 

"Go check on your weakass friends before I change my mind and fuck you right now," Grimmjow demanded.

Ichigo grinned. "See you in a week," he promised. 

Grimmjow leaned closer and nipped his bottom lip roughly one last time before he used sonido to flash away. 

Ichigo kept his grin for the rest of the way to Urahara. He couldn't wait until next week. 

……

Ichigo wished he had thought about the logistics of visiting Grimmjow in Hueco Mundo before he'd agreed to it, because right now he was waiting for Urahara to open a garganta while having to deal with the man shooting him knowing grins from behind his fan. 

"Have fun, Ichigo! Use protection!" Urahara called teasingly behind him as the garganta opened. 

Ichigo blushed bright red, adamantly refusing to grab at his pocket where he'd stuffed a bottle of lube, jumping into the garganta as quickly as he could without a response. 

Urahara had sent him somewhere in the vicinity of Las Noches and Ichigo decided not to be shy, sending out a pulse of his power to say 'hey.'

"About time!"

Ichigo unsheathed Zangetsu quickly, blocking Pantera automatically and returning Grimmjow’s excited grin with one of his own. 

"Show me what you've got," Ichigo challenged, power thrumming with anticipation at finally getting to fight a great fight without his life or his friends' lives on the line. Grimmjow smirked, licking his lips. 

"Bring it, Kurosaki."

Their first few clashes were a test, feeling out the changes in the other's power since their last battle. They were both stronger, faster, and the longer their battle lasted, the more eager they both got to turn the tide into something more real. 

Grimmjow shifted on the sand in front of him, nearly cackling with glee, and he dragged his claws down Pantera's blade in a familiar move. Ichigo grinned in delight, pulling forward his own power as he crossed his blades in front of him. 

"Grind, Pantera!"

"Bankai!"

This was even  _ better _ . Grimmjow danced circles around him and he launched getsuga after getsuga at him, blocking a swipe from Grimmjow’s claws. They were both sporting a myriad of minor injuries, scratches and bruises, nothing serious. This was  _ fun _ , it was everything Ichigo could've ever wanted, and he laughed out loud as he and Grimmjow clashed once more. 

He didn't know how long the match lasted, but his body felt like it'd been hours. Sore and shaky, but exhilarated and free. Grimmjow mirrored his state, panting with a tired smirk on his lips, eyes flaring up with a different kind of heat each time they pressed close. 

Grimmjow swiped at Zangetsu's hilt, knocking Ichigo out of his stance, and then he flashed even closer, barreling into Ichigo bodily and sending them both careening into the dunes. 

"Fuck," Ichigo sputtered, spitting out sand. 

Grimmjow guffawed loudly and Ichigo pushed himself up on his elbows, looking up at the arrancar sitting astride his hips with a victorious smirk. 

"Think we should move on to other matters now, Kurosaki, or did you want me to keep beating you bloody?"

Ichigo laughed, letting go of Zangetsu's hilt to grab onto Grimmjow, dragging his hands roughly down the armor plating of his resurrection on his thighs. 

"We can settle that score later," Ichigo agreed, grinding his hips up against Grimmjow and grinning cheekily when the other was put off balance. Grimmjow shifted for better purchase, tail swishing behind him, and he hummed and leaned down to dig his claws into the sand beside Ichigo's head. 

"Going to fuck you into the dirt, just like I promised," Grimmjow murmured against his lips. Ichigo wondered what it said about him that he felt an extra bit of thrill at the fact that Grimmjow hadn't shed his resurrection yet, his mask fragment resembling a crown above his forehead. 

"Then do it," Ichigo hissed back.

Grimmjow sealed their mouths together in a rough kiss, fangs teasing at Ichigo's lips, and Ichigo didn't hesitate to curl his tongue around the other's, grabbing a fistful of Grimmjow’s long hair and tugging him even closer. His other hand gripped Grimmjow’s hip tightly, encouraging a slow grind to feed their passion. Grimmjow laughed against him, licking at his teeth and grinning snarkily. Ichigo returned the look just before kicking off the ground, startling Grimmjow enough for Ichigo to roll him onto his back and to slam their lips together again, hips snug between Grimmjow’s own. 

"But what if I wanted to fuck you?" Ichigo teased as he pulled away, fingertips brushing the inside of Grimmjow’s hollow hole, watching the arrancar shiver beneath him. 

"Not happening," Grimmjow snapped, wriggling a bit in Ichigo's hold. Ichigo smirked. 

"Maybe I'll let you off this time," he agreed, moving to nibble and suck of Grimmjow’s neck, "but next time, you're mine."

Grimmjow either didn't have an argument to that or he got distracted because the next move Ichigo made was to shove his entire hand into the arrancar's hole and slide his palm up one side, sending Grimmjow into a full body shudder that made him arch his back and groan lowly. 

"Fuck," he gasped, resurrection falling away suddenly. Ichigo rolled their hips together, finally able to feel the other's erection with his armor gone. He wondered idly if there was a way they could fuck with Grimmjow in his resurrection. That would be another thing to explore, maybe next time. 

"Take off this shit," Ichigo demanded, tugging at Grimmjow’s shirt and jacket. Grimmjow snapped at his fingers but pushed up enough to shed his jacket and tug his shirt over his head. Ichigo was already getting his own clothes off, slipping his kosode and shitagi off his shoulders. He kicked off his waraji and tabi, watching Grimmjow kick off his boots, though they didn't quite make it to shedding their hakama before connecting once more in a filthy kiss, both moaning at the press of naked skin together. 

Ichigo disconnected the kiss and ducked his head down, trailing his tongue and lips down the scar he'd left down the other's chest wetly, smirking up at Grimmjow before flicking his tongue briefly against the edge of his hollow hole. Grimmjow snarled, grabbing Ichigo's hair and shoving his head down to his hakama-covered cock. Ichigo laughed, mouthing and rubbing at the fabric, inhaling Grimmjow’s musky scent. 

Ichigo pulled away again to let the other get his hakama off, working on his own, though he'd barely gotten them off before Grimmjow had turned the tables, shoving Ichigo onto his back and sliding between his hips like he belonged there. 

"Wait," Ichigo gasped, unable to curb his instinct to thrust as their hips jerked and grinded together. He glanced down and shivered at the size of Grimmjow’s erection. He wasn't overly long, in fact they were almost the same length, but he was  _ thick _ , and Ichigo felt a bit of drool leave his mouth even if anxiety also teased his senses. He would definitely be needing a lot of prep for this not to be painful. 

"What the fuck for?" Grimmjow demanded, hands encouraging the other's movements against him. 

"Lube. In my hakama," Ichigo gasped out. "Your dick isn't coming near me without it."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes but he still crawled over to his hakama, digging out the lube before returning to kneel between Ichigo's spread legs. 

He supposed it should be weird, lying in this desert under the moon, about to truly fuck for the first time out in the open, but Ichigo honestly couldn't look away from Grimmjow’s heated gaze, his blue eyes practically glowing with arousal as he covered his fingers in slick. 

Grimmjow kissed him at the first touch of his finger against Ichigo's entrance, rubbing the lube around his rim and soothing him into relaxation before easing a finger inside. Ichigo wiggled at the feeling, clutching at Grimmjow’s hair and trying to distract himself with the kiss. The feeling was odd, but he was both surprised and pleased by Grimmjow’s slow methodical movements, the careful slide and curl of his finger before teasing his rim with a second. Ichigo tilted his hips, sliding his knees up and moaning quietly as Grimmjow pulled one finger out before sliding back in with two. 

Suddenly Grimmjow pulled back and Ichigo bit his lip against a whine, hips shimmying with loss as Grimmjow pulled his fingers out. 

"Turn over," Grimmjow growled, voice thick with arousal, and Ichigo rolled onto his stomach, yelping with surprise when Grimmjow grabbed his hips and yanked him to his hands and knees. Ichigo groaned when Grimmjow instantly went back to pressing inside him, scissoring his fingers, and then a new wet sensation came and Ichigo dropped to his elbows, head hanging low and moaning loudly at the realization that it was Grimmjow’s  _ tongue _ he was feeling at his rim. 

"Shit, Grimmjow," he hissed, pressing back into the touch, knees shifting further apart as he tried to keep his sanity. Grimmjow growled against him, lapping against his hole noisily, and Ichigo whined as his fingers stretched him widely before easing a third finger in. The stretch was tight, a hint of a burn that was uncomfortable, and Ichigo gasped when Grimmjow’s free hand curled around his flagging erection, giving him something to fuck into to keep his arousal. Ichigo groaned, arching his back a bit more and gasping wordlessly when Grimmjow’s fingers nudged something inside him that sent fireworks through his brain. 

"Holy fuck," he panted, shivering. "Do that again," he ordered. 

He could feel Grimmjow grin against his skin as he pressed inside Ichigo and  _ massaged _ against that spot, nearly bringing tears to his eyes as he clawed at the sand and fought the urge to press closer or to pull away. The pleasure was so much it was almost painful and Ichigo had white spots flickering in his vision.

"I'm ready," he decided, not sure how much more direct stimulation with Grimmjow’s fingers to that spot he could take. "Come on, I'm ready. Fuck me, dammit."

Grimmjow snarled quietly, pulling out of him and making Ichigo squeeze his hole at the sudden emptiness. Grimmjow pressed his thumb inside, thrusting a few more times before pulling away and slicking his cock, grabbing Ichigo's hips and lining himself up with his hole. The first press was a lot, and the sudden release of tension when the head of Grimmjow's dick slid into him made Ichigo cry out, followed by a long low moan. 

"Shit, you're so thick," Ichigo slurred, forehead resting on the sand below him while his elbows kept him from getting a mouthful of the stuff. "You've got to give me a minute."

Grimmjow growled wordlessly, leaning over Ichigo's back and nibbling at the back of his shoulder blades. His hands shook where they pawed at Ichigo's hips and thighs and sides, nails leaving red marks as he tried to contain his urge to  _ fuck _ . 

"Okay, press in a bit more," Ichigo directed, gasping when Grimmjow slowly rolled his hips, letting another inch spear into him before he pulled out. He thrust in again, a little further, and Ichigo had to just take it as he continued the rhythm, slow press in, slow pull out, reaching further into him with each thrust. He paused before his last thrust, smearing more lube on his cock before he slid at the way in and Ichigo could feel his balls flush against his own. 

"Oh, fuck," Ichigo panted, drool dripping from his mouth onto the sand, not that he cared as his mind blanked at the sensation of such  _ fullness. _

Grimmjow bit at the back of his neck and Ichigo could feel him shake, holding back for him. He would've been touched by the consideration if he wasn't currently unable to think of anything. 

"Kurosaki," Grimmjow rumbled, and his voice was low, a steady growl that made him sound closer to an animal. "You've got five seconds," he warned. His hands slid from Ichigo's hips, moving up his body and over his shoulders before he pressed them into the sand beside Ichigo's head. Ichigo curled his hands around his wrists to ground himself, nodding jerkily. 

"Okay," he managed. "Okay, I'm good."

Grimmjow slowly dragged out of him before thrusting hard back in, making Ichigo's entire body jerk. His breath was pushed from him in a short 'uhn' and then Grimmjow worked up to a rhythm, deep, hard thrusts that claimed Ichigo in their entirety. He paused every few thrusts to roll his hips, grinding into him, and each time sent stars to Ichigo's mind as his cock teased his prostate.

Grimmjow was also steadily growling in his ear, nipping and mouthing and biting at any flesh he could reach. His hands kneaded at the sands, nails digging in for purchase. Ichigo arched lower, knees shifting just a bit, and suddenly Grimmjow was pounding into his prostate with every thrust, making him nearly scream as pleasure overloaded him. He tried to shift a bit away from such direct stimulation even as he also pressed back into Grimmjow's thrusts confusingly, but Grimmjow pulled his hands back and latched them onto his waist, sitting up away from Ichigo's back and forcing him into the same position as he thrusted harder and faster, chasing closer to his orgasm. Ichigo was shaking and scrambling at the sand, digging his toes into sand as they curled. He dropped facedown into the sand, one hand reaching down to curl around his erection so he could fuck down into it as Grimmjow continue to pound into him. He came with a scream, tensing up and squeezing tight around Grimmjow. The arrancar roared his release, nails biting scratches into Ichigo's skin. 

They both came down slowly, hazy from such a good orgasm. Grimmjow pulled out and rolled over to recline on the sand, humming out a note of satisfaction. Ichigo dropped on his side to face him, face twisting as he felt Grimmjow's spend start to leak from his body but too tired at the moment to do anything about it, panting for breathing and trying to avoid getting too much sand in his mouth. 

Ichigo heard Grimmjow shift on the sand but didn't open his eyes to look. It wasn't long before he felt the other press close to him, one hand dragging down his spine idly before he started playing with the cum leaking out of him with his fingers. 

"Next time you're wearing a condom," Ichigo murmured sluggishly against his chest. "This is disgusting."

Grimmjow snorted, breath fanning through Ichigo's hair as he continued to massage around his rim and encouraged more of his cum to slide out. 

"I could always eat you out," Grimmjow offered in a low rumble. 

"That's disgusting too," Ichigo said, even if the idea did send a small twitch to his spent cock. Grimmjow chuckled, no doubt having felt his interest in the idea as they were pressed so tightly against each other, but he didn't argue. 

"You're going to have to make a garganta for me to get home," Ichigo drawled after a moment. 

"And what if I don't?" 

Ichigo finally peeked his eyes open, pulling away enough that he could look up at Grimmjow's face. The other had something almost solemn covering his visage, like this was goodbye. Ichigo's brow furrowed in confusion and he reached up to brush his fingers along the other's jaw, tracing the bone of his hollow mask. 

"You know you can come visit me too," he murmured quietly, "and I'll be coming back." 

"Will you?" Grimmjow didn't sound convinced, doubt heavily coating his tone. 

"Why  _ wouldn't  _ I?" Ichigo asked curiously. He waved around them. "This has been the most fun I've had in  _ years _ ."

Grimmjow's eyes widened a bit in surprise even if he was clearly trying to hide it. 

"Besides," Ichigo continued after a moment, thoughtful, "I told you once that if things had turned out differently, we could've been  _ more.  _ There's no reason we can't explore that now though, is there?"

Grimmjow grunted, looking away to watch his own hand slid across Ichigo's skin. "That sounds complicated," he finally murmured. 

Ichigo smiled lightly, pressing him lightly onto his back and throwing his leg over him to straddle his waist as he rolled with him, brushing their lips together teasingly. "That's the fun of it," he murmured quietly. "And between you and me, I think we could make something work."

Grimmjow raised a brow, doubtful, but there was also a familiar smirk curling up the corner of his mouth with life, heat, humor,  _ affection _ showing in his eyes. "That so?" He rumbled lowly. 

Ichigo grinned. "I promise," he whispered, before kissing him. 

And he intended to keep his promise. 


End file.
